I have become very much a millionare over night, but it happened last evening or so it seemed before moreover revelation that crystallized true essence: not so, not me rich, but I remain a pawn and I must insert my body as a cog into the machine every week day as a roundabout Way to make "Bread" for myself and my family of one. 

It all started when my brother
drove for a long while
paintings in car trunk
brought to me for burning
my hobby is burning
or if not really a hobby
at least enjoyable pastime.

Anyway this was round two and volume two of The Art Burning since last Christmas we also burned paintings. It was really something to see those pictures burn which were part of your childhood, although they where absolutely worthless and baseless pictures. Our family were not art collectors; at least not in a sense of collecting valuable art. Our Family was Cogs.

But then ah there was the rub. One of the paintings "hoy a primavera antes incendio" (before this spring's burning event) revealed a secret. Behind the painting there where a list of names, all in the same hand writing, but the first name was the name of our Father (deceased). 

Also there was an adress in Helsinki where our father never lived
and where he never
as far as we knew spent time
expect when serving in FDR at the Santahamina garrison
in the year 1966 (?)

Why names, why adress?
deal with satan?
velkakirja?
Allusion: "runkkarin ja homoksi pyrkivän ihmisen päiväkirjat" -Kari Hotakainen, Klassikko (1997)

Well anyway it also came to pass that I googled the artists name. Painter is J.W. Gozzard. He has Wikipedia page. He is dead. He is not a major artist. He is very minor. But why? That is something i don't really get.

I can say with much gusto that by selling Gozzard you would not get enough money to remove yourself from working life. But I don't really get why Gozzard-painting is cheap put [insert name] is expensive, although they look the same. I have two examples:

https://www.artrenewal.org/artworks/caspar-david-friedrich/easter-morning/86028

https://www.invaluable.com/auction-lot/james-walter-gozzard-1888-1950-a-november-106-c-e7cbf92856

Kind of the same kind of pictures, yet Caspar David Friedrich would sell for millions ja Gozzard only 300-500€. This is inequality! Entire value of art totally arbitrary. Where is my "fuck you -money"? Nowhere.

So all across Earth history there have been painters who are not very good although they have basic skill and technique. These are maybe called mediocre artists. How does it feel to be mediocre in art? To know that that what you do for a living... that some people do it so much better, so much more like God, being kind of seer-shamans, but you instead are mediocre. There is no way for you to "break on through to the other side" (Doors/Jim Morrison 1967) because your skill is what it is and so remains.

So how do you cope?
Cope is trendy term nowadays.
It is used to insult people.
Like this: person says something.
Someone else in the internet says to her: this is only your cope.

Well...
You could be into Running in a very intricate and deep seated way,
and be a hobby runner,
without being a professional marathon woman,
and maybe term for you would also be on this occasion "mediocre",
but I think it would be different in art.

Let's think again and more
you are an artist
of sorts (yes?)
you are Gozzard
you make art
you sell art
you make a living
yet you are not Caspar David Friedrich
are you content Gozzard!?
or do you sometimes think in wolf's hour or in other nasty-self-loathing events/occasions:

"i am worthless i am not true artist nor can i ever be and why continue"

but then and now i want to suprise-exhume in and from this diatribe
a distressing thought (which is not a cope)
maybe value of art is not true
maybe Gozzard should be as valuable as Friedrich?
who decides value of art?
what is good art?
what is art?

There exists "Efecto Mateo" (in spanish).

WIKIPEDIA
The Matthew effect of accumulated advantage, Matthew principle, or Matthew effect is the tendency of individuals to accrue social or economic success in proportion to their initial level of popularity, friends, wealth, etc. It is sometimes summarized by the adage "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer".[1][2] The term was coined by sociologists Robert K. Merton and Harriet Zuckerman[3] in 1968[4] and takes its name from the Parable of the Talents in the biblical Gospel of Matthew.
/WIKIPEDIA

I say as a fact of my own mind and choosing, that value of Friedrich's art, at least part of it, is caused by efecto Mateo.

So what would be c,d,f,'s art's true value? Value that is purified from aforementioned, and also purified from all other injustified modifiers. Would it be zero?

why C.D.F. millions of coins?
why J.W.G. only thousand coins? 

Okay now you say
there is led zeppelin
there is some generic finnish barn dance hall band 
led zeppelin was progressive rock, very innovative, very important in development of music
whereass this other band was basically ass on top of ass, ass being bad thing.

Now the finale and final revelation of me being a person who also learns and more-increase-understands from/by this monologue with myself.
Also this is dull and mediocre ending.
It is this.

I understand literature y las peliculas best from all art forms.
I understand what is a good movie and which bad.
Also same in literature because like movies i have had contact with this art.
Very extensive contact.
And I am not "afraid" of the said art forms.
And I have confidence to say: this is so and so in the scale of quality.
So.
But.
I don't have the said deep knowledge and therebyderived trust when it comes to painted art pictures.
So I just don't know why G is far worse than F.

There might be some seedy and misty and unjust processes and machinations that create "untrue values" for art pictures. But these are only one part of the ocean that consists of many waves and water cubicles.

So the final conclusion has to be
F is better than G 
F is better art
this is objective truth.

I have to continue as a working lad
I have sacrifice my life, my time, to work
Although i would more like to just to nothing
To be at home
But I has to has and get/earn at least some wealth to get by.

 

 

gozzard died 1926
aged 65
cause of death?
but gozzard hear my voice across the gulfs of transcendence
you are now immortal
by this blog you are so made.